November Reflections

November Reflections

November seems to have gone by pretty quickly, it’s been a good month for us as a family. For me it has been a month of learning. I have learnt so many new things regarding my roles as wife and mum.

Every new parent will attest to the fact that a baby changes things in a relationship and we are no exception. One habit we developed in the last couple of months and really enforced this month has been; spending time together once the baby in bed every night. I have learnt to be consistent with D’s bedtime,ensuring that he is in bed early, giving the hubs and me time together.

We attended a Couples’ Timeout event organised by our church around mid-November, we had to take D with us because we didn’t have any child-care arrangement, but it was fun still. The event was on a Saturday and started about mid afternoon and was over by about 7:30/8pm. The theme was Submitting to one another. I can honestly say that before then I never heard of this portion of the Bible because the usual emphasised verse is the one regarding wives submitting to their own husbands. The guest speaker was Pastor Ruth Essien and I must say I was refuelled by her talk.

Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God.
– Ephesians 5:21

Something else I learnt or discovered this month is regarding being a wife, mother and homemaker. At several times we have discussed the issue of getting help around the house, but I do not feel the need for that right now. Sure, it would be great to have someone to take the load off me and not have to do certain tasks, but I have discovered that with proper planning and management I can accomplish most of my tasks without getting overwhelmed. Funny enough, it was one of the questions that came up during the interactive sessions of the Couples’ Retreat. I now manage my tasks spreading them out over the various days of the week.

Yes, November was a learning month and the number one thing intake away with me is making time for the important relationships in my life.

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I’m Not Spoilt

I’m Not Spoilt

Whenever I tell people I am an only child they suddenly have this impression that I must be or have been spoilt. Sure, my parents were and still tend to be overly protective and paranoid over me, but I will say I am anything but spoilt.

As a kid I had a lot of toys and play things, people saw that and assumed I was spoilt. What they didn’t know was I didn’t get every single toy or plaything I wanted instantly. Sometimes I would give up hope of getting something and then I got it. I simply didn’t get everything I asked for.

As I grew up, more and more I learnt to be content with what I had. I learnt that it was not worth it to ruthlessly try to acquire material things. I know, I am a shopaholic, but I always spend my own money and never get with anyone because of money for a shopping trip. I try to never go irrational longing for some material possession; if I must get something then I save up or dig into my savings. (Or add it to my ever-growing wish list and drop hints; case in point I’ve just added an iPhone to my wish list).

Of course I acknowledge that certain only kids are spoilt but such generalisations hurt those who aren’t. The spoilt kid syndrome is certainly not restricted to only kids; even kids from large families often end up spoilt and equate material possessions to love.

Contentment doesn’t destroy ambition and doesn’t mean settling. To me it implies understanding your situation, finding things to be grateful for and seeking (honest) means to get to where you want to be.

Contentment is a great life lesson because one gets tested on this ever so often. Prepare to ace it!

Happiness is…

Happiness is…

While organizing my magazine stack, I stumbled on an issue of Marie Claire (UK) magazine and it was the happy issue. I immediately thought to myself “oh I can write about this”. When I tried to start writing and contemplated the issue, there really wasn’t anything reasonable I could put down.

Happiness is a mystery. Happiness is different things to everyone. What makes me happy may or may not make you happy.

Happiness is life, liberty and its own pursuit. It is feeling that I’m anyone’s equal and no one’s superior. It is an unsolicited hug from my son.

Shami Chakrabarti (Director of Liberty)

Childhood memories of me and my friends riding our bikes all around the neighbourhood make me happy. Memories of picnics at the end of a school year in secondary school (high school) make me happy. Spending time with my family brings feelings of happiness. A lazy Saturday at home with my beau makes me happy. Good music lifts my spirits and makes me happy. Great friends make me happy.

I’m happiest whe concentrating on a goal, especially when making something. It doesn’t matter what: the next chapter of a novel, a recipe for apple pudding…

Lionel Shriver (Writer)

All I can say on this issue is I’ve discovered some of the things that make me happy in life. They are the simple things. The things that made me happy yesterday still make me happy today and will most likely make me happy tomorrow!

Have a happy weekend folks!

There is no magic wand

There is no magic wand

I keep seeing these television shows where an individual gets an extreme makeover, resulting in a change from drab to dazzling. Often times, it involves a change of clothes, a haircut and some serious grooming. This individual then raves about how his or her life has been transformed. Fun to watch, but is it really possible for their entire lives to be transformed in such a short time?

Granted the makeover will increase self-confidence and the like, but I believe if the underlying issues are not dealt with, no progress has been made. Going with a self-image theme, even supermodels, celebrities and famous folks have issues and some may result to drugs and experience eating disorders (anorexia, bulimia), amongst others. A makeover doesn’t guarantee self-love.

Over the years I have been in contact with different people with their differences and sometimes noticed collective similarities between these people. I will just highlight one a couple of personalities I have noticed recently.

There is the person who because of love or friendship would go through any means to change certain things about himself or herself. This can mean someone suddenly realising the need to lose weight just for the purpose of attracting a love interest or to fit into a clique. All he or she wants is love and acceptance.

Another person continually feels down and in the dumps with feelings of not being good enough. He or she sees everyone around falling in love, living happy, content and successful lives and that causes some form of depression. This person can spend so much time wishing for another person’s life and become increasingly discontent with his/her own situation.

These kind of issues cannot go away just like that; self-love takes more time than a six hour makeover. I believe it is a conscious effort to accept your strengths and flaws. It is also the decision to grow by working on any personal flaws.